Change .... most of us want to do it in some way or another. We can see the benefits on how it could help us lead a healthier, more contented, happier life. But the reality is - change is difficult, it can be painful, exhausting or feel impossible and downright scary. And who needs more hassle in our already busy lives?
Clients wanting Change
When a clients comes to therapy wanting to change I actually don't focus so much on "them changing". My focus lays with supporting them in our therapeutic relationship so they feel understood, cared for and heard. I offer clients a compassionate safe space for them to bounce their thoughts and feelings without being judged.
Through our nurturing therapeutic relationship I hope my clients will grow ...... here's the thing - at their own pace! Not at my pace, not the pace of their family or friends or what society deems as "normal" ..... yep that word normal again! With the hope growth will lead to their empowerment.
When You Can't Change
And the truth is sometimes clients can't change. They are fearful, stuck or just aren't ready to take the plunge. Do you know what? That's O.K too. It doesn't make them a failure. Or not good enough. It just means they aren't ready yet or just don't want to!! And that really is O.K tooooooooo. Or sometimes I am just a small stepping stone in their journey, and they don't see results immediately.
Take it easy
So next time you are battling with life in general and on top of it you want to change but just can't make it yet.
- Give yourself a break.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Don't judge yourself
- Or set yourself up for failure by creating unrealistic deadlines.
Here's what you could do instead ... Just take a deep deep breathe and repeat "I'm just not ready yet, and that's O.K toooooooooooo! Change will happen if and when I am ready". Tribal dances to accompany your chants are not compulsory - but you can of course if you really want to get into the spirit of things .
Change really is a process it doesn't always (rarely in fact) happen over night. Be patient and try to enjoy the journey, even though it may at times be bumpy and it could feel like you are drifting into the unknown.
Ooooooh then there's always the fact .... you do change and those around you don't like it and can't cope with the new YOU! ...... Now that's thoughts for another post!